Disgusted.

Sometimes I really wonder why such people are presence on earth.

Not to say they are a burden or nuisance but why do people do everything to get what they want?

Why can people act like they're good with you but yet on the other hand they can be doing things behind you?

Jealousy? Well perhaps they're jealous about something on you.

But these people somehow need to reflect on themselves.

Just two things that I tweeted yesterday and I really do mean it.

 

"People with disgusting personality will remain disgusting. If they aren't willing to change, fuck them away from your life."

 

"When a selfish person think for themselves and not others, do things to satisfy their wants, their personality is just ew."

 

Really just feel disgusted and bitch please  with your attitude towards people and things happening around you.



Can't wait for Thursday!

2 more days just 2 more days! The holidays are approaching but the exams will approach me first! :( Though this semester have quite a lot of in-course module but still, there's a lot more to do and memorise for the 2 modules that are being tested! GRHHH! Can't wait for thursday to come man. Had been looking at those review on the places that we will be heading to and it just got myself to anticipate more and more and more and.... more. Just hope it don't disappoint us. Can time just pass faster and allow thursday to reach soon?!?? Hope that my modules will pass and not let me fail and retake them next semester. I really dread that from happening and I really need to pull my GPA up. Sighhhh.

 

 2 days to holidays.

8 days to Shooting Club first FOC :D

Competition

Though it've been some time since competition is over, but still, here's the photos update for competition. Even though the results aren't what we are looking forward to but I guess we had worked hard for it and improved even more during this period of training. What's important is to be the ones who never give up and continue to work hard. If there's another competition with my lion head, just hope we'll have, I'm sure we can do better and approach our initial goal. Same as before, thanks to those who gave us chance, who helped us, who made us better, who encourage and discourage us, who taught us and those who are there for us. You guys did made us stronger.

The lion dancers of 2013

我只不过是个不被珍惜的人。

 

每个开心的笑容背后都有些不具名的伤痛和悲伤。心里的空虚感有时真的很希望别人能了解也能体会。有时为别人努力着，为别人忙着， 希望听到的是来自真心的：”谢谢你，辛苦了。“小小的一句话能带来多少的安慰，多少的快乐？小小的事情其实在心里却是最动人的。有时不管你怎么努力，不管你怎么讨好别人，让别人开心，他们心里还是没有你，在你心上的他们，你却不在他们心上。不懂如何讨好别人了，不懂如何让别人更喜欢，更珍惜我了。该来的总是会来的。时间过了就不再回来了。我只是个过路客，不再停留了。累了。

Hello Kitty Craze?!

Here there every where, now seems like the black hello kitty from Mac is getting a little out of hand. Selling at the price of 126000 currently like seriously?! It's like a bit over ah, but I really kind of find it ridiculous if someone go and queue just to sell it to others, then what about people who want to queue and really collect the Hello Kitty? Buying at the price of $4.90 but yet selling at such a high price it's really a OMFG seriously. But oh well, last night after training was feeling really very very low and was asked to follow them to get the kitty. Along the way things I don't want to happen did happen again and, oh fuck, don't like to fucking feel so weak though. Queued and waited for the kitty and we seen the ugly sides of some Singaporeans and of course some good sides of the Singaporeans. But we managed to get the last few Hello Kitties. I was there to just eat instead of really buying hello kitty, I didn't have any though too bad! Hahaha. Seeing them calling each other and travelling from place to place to see where have shorter queue for the kitties are quite a funny scene actually. But after all, mood didn't get better once I reached home though...

 

 

 

 

Somethings are still in my mind and still couldn't get over them. Just came to a point to realise and to see how reluctant and how ridiculous some people, some things, some issues, some situations can be though. People will still leave you standing alone, people will still leave you one fine day and it just depends on when the time will come. Guess it's time for me to just walk away from people who want me to be away, to people who find me an nuisance to them. Perhaps walking away will be a better choice to everyone perhaps.

 

Saying we're left to 6 trainings. Total we only have like less than 14 trainings in total? Tonight, I really do hope that tonight would be fine. Yesterday night was really too much to handle, the amount of failures and the amount of things that are deproving instead of improving is too high up, way too high up. Things will get better they say, how I hope it's true, and I hope to see it real soon...

本来很开心的。。。结果好失落，好难过。

Today in school was really fun, really funny, had lots and a bit too much laughter in school today. Linked everything to some things that shouldn't really match together.... Hmmm, don't release the things better. Hahaha. But overall, had a long and tiring but yet fun with laughter day in school. Thanks guys, you all really know how to make my days.

 

Today at training, at first I was looking forward to training, at first I was really hoping to see more improvements and more more more. Today standard was the worst ever standard we ever get, so much of errors and so much of what I don't want to see. When we are out of the lion, my heart really literately sunk. Have you ever encounter a feeling like this when you really feel disheartened and just really very very disappointed with the overall performance? Stress, coming to the word stress, together putting it with the word standard. Am I having too much high hopes that are impossible to achieve? Am I putting too much stress over my own shoulders? I really don't know what others think about it. But I think the target I set can be achieved within our range. There's just reason to why I set my standard so high, if we fall we won't fall that hard. And we work hard to achieve that result and what if we really manage to hit the results we want? I'm really really really very upset over all these. Looking through today's video at CC just now, do you know how it actually feels? Watching yourself not doing well and not improving however just deproving away when we are left with so little time and so little training? Do you know how it actually feels to be even disappoint yourself and make others worry? I don't know what I am looking forward to seeing anymore, I'm wanting to and looking forward to improvements and just waiting and trying hard to train for more and for the better. I really  don't know what else to say, sometimes words can never really express how I really felt. Just one word, disheartening. Guess I would still have to put up a strong front and still face the war, never give up they say. I hope my mind continue to tell me so too...

 

鼻子真的一直很酸，说说一下眼泪又打滚了。。。压力真的太大了吗？

Stress increasing yet not releasing.

It just came to the point where I really don't know where all my efforts gone to. My efforts aren't reflecting on lion dance. Similarly, it aren't reflecting on my results. A, a target I've set before coming into Poly, why does it seems so so so far away from me? Am I not working hard enough or am I having too much, way too much other commitments that I've eventually leave out on my studies? Time management, something that I manage to commit well when I'm in 'N' level or even 'O' level, yet now, I'm having nothing else but projects, school, reports, data sheets, and endless commitments, increasing commitments in lion dance. I really don't want to get bad results from anywhere, really anywhere. Not school and not lion dance. Results, I do hope to get good results, I wouldn't say that I've worked hard enough but similarly, I won't say I didnt put in enough efforts.

 

Lion dance, something that I've been working hard, something that I've been striving hard to achieve my best in it. Yet recently, there's nothing but problems and problems. We just have to overcome them again and again. Endlessly need to make things better. Some problems doesn't come from errors or what else but they comes from people. How much to get understanding, how much to not get tied down? It really comes to the point where I had enough, enough of increasing stress, endless stress increasing every single time, nothing is releasing but just increasing and increasing. No matter if it's from school or from lion dance, I really don't know how to manage or continue anymore at times. Well, being appreciative for people around me, those who are there to support, to give strength, to give what they can instead of just blaming and blaming. Those who are there, I know who, and you know who you are. Sometimes, motivation, supports and encouragement are really far more important than anything else.

 

Stress, I hope I can overcome you soon, I really need to. Stop increasing please, having stress is good but not to the extend of me having hard time coping and a hard time coping with so much stress at one go. I really don't hope to break down but yet it seems like breaking down seems so hard to even avoid. I'm trying hard to stay strong and trying hard, very hard to maintain my strong instead of breaking down. Tomorrow, final rehearsal somehow for it. Hope things goes well, really hope so... Our target, it still seems far away. Great improvements needed, more more more needed indeed.

 

Sometimes, letting go is a better choice perhaps.