Chu 6...

What's up with today?
Why am I feeling so unhappy today?
Suddenly, I felt like I don't know how to face everyone and everything... The feeling before and now is so so so different. I used to feel that we are really really close. Very, after becoming the storeman, I'm finding myself getting distanced away from them more and more. What makes me feel this way? Where and what is the problem here? It's not that I don't want to be the storeman. I would like to be, but not in this way somehow. Things are starting to get overboard.. Today I really just feel so so so tired of everything. I just don't feel like caring. But no one seems to know and no one seems to care. I just dislike today, I'm sorry.. even though if it's still under CNY...

Everything seems so different now. We are a family, we are still a family. If you are telling me being in a troupe for 12 years, going through up and down with this group of people and yet I do not have any feelings, that's not true at all. I'm still having passion in the activities. But just somehow I don't like the feeling of getting more and more distanced away... Idk, I just don't like it. AT ALL.

Happy Dragon Year!

Happy Chinese New Year!

Sorry that I only blogged about it after like so long? Not very long also, it's only the 4th day of CNY and there's like 11 days more to go. Awesome { ? } Perhaps, no more ang bao liao how to feel awesome? x.x"

Well well, Chu 1, went to performance the whole day and was feeling shag and tired after Sentosa performance. We survived it in the end, how pro can we be? ^^Chu 2 went to aunt house and gotten the 2nd big ang bao! I almost got the biggest ang bao D: in the end get 2nd biggest also not bad la right? Haha. =X Chu 3 went to bai nian too.

TODAY!
Went to C&C to perform and was feeling tired... after like the 2nd C&C? So tired and shag already can. Had the first HIGH TEA for chinese new year! Awesomeeeee~

I know it's a joke. But... why is everyone taking it as it's so damn freaking normal and it's nothing to be even fucking angry about?

Being fat isn't what I wanted.
If I really want to be so big size, I wouldn't be deducting my fats and trying hard to reduce them.
What hurts the most is you don't get support from friends.
Instead, what you get is all laughters and only some showed support.
Best of all...
People taking it as a joke.
Yes, even though it's just a joke.
It's a joke to you but you hurt someone indirectly.
How it feels to be feeling hurt?
One day you'll know.
Karma will fall on you, that's what I believed.
Having people saying "Bu yong jing", what if, on this day, you're being said by someone else?
I'm sure you'll say:"It's alright, since it's just a joke."
Reason behind it is very simple, you're not the one who feels exactly what another feels.

Chinese New Year mood!

Hello hello! Yesterday went to Cc to pack all of our CNY stuffs including lions, dragons, drums and etc. After packing and running up and down the CNY mood is getting stronger and stronger! Cheers yea! :D now I just can't wait for 初一. Although we gotta reach cc as early as 6.30am in the morning, seeing everyone and wishing everyone a happy new year is what that makes me feel blessed and happy. Haha. Nevertheless, I'll be going to cc soon to help coach and tomorrow need to go down to double check stuffs too.

Yesterday training wasn't good at all. Until the last training before the new year, CH still 忘套式. It really makes me not feel secure if we were to perform during CNY. had been saying to memorize the Tao shi for weeks and weeks already but yet still... 讲是没有用的，个人的付出和努力才是关键。but our chance of performing should be quite small also ba I think....(?) well maybe.. Still gotta train hard and do what's supposed to be done! Sigh, no more training le. 船到桥头自然直。。。现在也只能那么希望了。

First Red Packet! HUAT AH!

Hey guys! Yes! Gotten my first red packet for CNY from last night performance! Yay yay yay! As happy as a little kid! 拿红包的喜悦永远不会改变！hahaha. Last night performance was rather fun even though there's only 9 of us including coach. Me, WK, CH and aunty Doris all damn epic, we reached at 5.10pm thinking it's the reporting time and in the end, the reporting time is 5.40pm!

Getting red packet is one thing, another REDDISH thing I got last night is...... BLOOD! oh crap! 都怪我自己不小心 :(

Yesterday went to orchard with CH to shop for CNY stuffs. Later we will go to bugis. I wanna buy the belt there! Fourskin the colours left a few only :(

CAN'T WAIT FOR TONIGHT! First LED dragon performance! No more on display! Woohoo~ :D AWESOMEEEEEEEEE

想太多吗？

我真不了解自己。。。
我自己想要什么？怎么样的要求？
我自己都不知道。
但，我脑里有好多好多问号。
这些问号，只有你能给我答案。
你究竟为什么要这么说？
为什么你好像慢慢变成了一个双面人？
好希望有一天我能知道你到地真正心里是怎么想的。
也许，这答案，需要时间做传话员了。
或许，我永远都不会知道这答案。。。

Course choosing, HARD

Whether or not you've experienced or soon to be experiencing the JAR thingy, it's hard and really hard to choose the courses that captures your interest, meet the cut off points of yours, a course that may or most likely will lead you to your career in the future. Some may be saying:" Oh that's easy! I want to be teacher in future!" That's not it at all! It's not exactly about the career but the type of course you're looking for. I am currently having a headache for the JAE programme. I seriously don't know what I should choose for my 2nd choice and onwards.... I've gotten my first choice down, which will be in SP. I really hope I could enter the course as out of the 3 courses that I'm most interested in, my 1st choice suits my interest or catches my attention the most I would say... Well well, hope everything goes well.

It's sotta thursday now as I am typing this post even though the blog shows Wednesday... But I really hope to enter my choices TODAY, THURSDAY! That's the only way I can ensure that my courses are keyed in when the system is not jam! (May jam on friday? Who knows?) I'm currently only at my 7th choice.. I want to fill up all 12 choices but I relaly what I should fill for the last 5 choices. Perhaps there isn't a need for me to do so. But, I should.... just should... try to fill them all up...

O's result..

Yeapp, today is the release of the GCE 'O' level result 2011. I'm sorry to say that I'm not very satisfied with my results. Not for the overall results however in terms of subjects. English, I gotten a pathetic C6 grade. I feel sorry... especially towards Ms Xie, we can all see her disappointment on her face just now.... Next, Food & Nutrition, I thought I could at least get a distinction, A2 or A1, in the end, it's only a B3. Yes, B3. What's up with the big difference?! Well, overall, L1B4 gets 15. Don't feel anything proud of it because I'm really very disappointed with the results in subject wise.

Last night, I managed to get into my sleep. Luckily I would say. Unlike N level, I could hardly even get into my lovely sleep. However, if letting go of my one day of sleep, will allow me to get better results, I would like to do so. Expecting a B4 (at least) for english. In the end, when I see C6, I already feel upset.

While waiting to receive the results, we had briefing on how to apply the JAE stuffs. After which it was Mr Seet's address. He came to me and asked me how's my results twice, the first made me teared... I cried a few times in school today. Uncontrolable at the end. I was controlling well until I started talking to people about my results and texting. While sending a few texts out, my tears dripped silently without anyone knowing. When talking to friends, it just went down down down and down... I'm sorry but just feel disappointed and sorry for these few subjects and people who had high expectations on me. Many of us cried today, teared today. I would say, our 5NA results aren't fantastic at all.. :(Went around to comfort people and some which really makes my heartache..

No matter what, today marks the last day of me being in West Spring Secondary School. Firstly,

• I would like to thanks all my classmates: 1NA'07, 2NA'08, 3NA'09, 4NA'10, 5NA'11... To the few cliques, thank you for being there for me when I need you guys, thank you for going through all the up and down, allowing things to resolve properly, thank you guys for listening to my nagging and my advices when I gave them to you...


• Thanks to my batch of express people, those who I know, those who had once helped me, stayed contact with me, those who makes our friendships strong even though we are in different classes.. Those who have praised me and cheer me on when I need support. Thank you.


• Thanks to West Spring Shooting Club. Thank you for allowing me to join such an interesting CCA that not many of the people will get to experience. Thank you for allowing me to make new friends and good friends with other shooters from sec 1 to sec 5 as well as to those who had graduated. I'll never forget the fun we had during shooting camp, singing songs together at the basketball court around 11+pm when it's already reaching midnight, having water balloons game, going to the competition venue, carrying all the guns, equipments, chilling lax and playing games together, cheering each other and giving support during competition. Playing basketball together, ordering Mac delivery at 3am in the morning and much much more. These are the things that I'll never forget. :) Thank you for making my CCA a memorable one!


• Next, thanks to all the teachers and principals who had once taught me or had contact with me. Thank you for making an impact in my life and nuturing me to become a good students. You have added value to my life. I'm glad to know so many teachers in my secondary school life. I'm also glad to know all the principals throughout my secondary school life and they have treated me very nicely. Thank you for teaching me all the values, theory, coursework and much much more knowledge. :)

No matter what, West Spring will always be on the history of my life. Those who have went through these moments with me, I'm sure you'll know how I feel right now. I want to stay in contact with many of them... And I wish that I could do so! goodbye people!

Just...tomorrow.

Tomorrow, which is the 9th January 2012, it's the day those 'O' level students collect their results. Unfortunately, including myself... I'm feeling rather frustrated, nervous, stress and any negative things that you can thought of for collecting results are all in my head now. I don't know what to do..

WHAT IF,
just what if, I scored a score which is not what I expected and not what I wanted?
What if, I did not do well for O's?
What if, I let people who have high hopes on me feel disappointed?
What if, I could not get into a course that I want?
What if, I have gotta choose a different path than what I have planned?

There's a lot of thoughts in my head right now. In the afternoon, I can still tweet saying that I don't even feel the stress and stuffs on collecting results for N level last year. As time gets nearer and nearer, the feeling starts to fade. Nervous-ness just invaded your whole body and mind. Although the truth is that Results are already set... I'm sure everyone knows this. Seriously, if someone is saying he/she is not nervous for the results... it's either he/she had already given up or he/she is too arrogant. The truth is, the N level feeling is back already... I shall go sleep soon. Say goodnight and try to get to sleep.

I hope, I will be able to do well for O's. Together with other O's students I know like ShiNi, Chiah Hou, Jun Jie, 5NA of WS and others, let's all do well together and pray hard that we get the best score that we can ever get! Best wishes for everyone! I'm sure we don't need luck and only need support and wishes from our friends... Let's just go and face it! especially me :(

Endless unhappiness day

Supposedly, I'm supposed to be happy today. Today is the edusave awards at cc... Yea, finally I got to wear uniform for the last time and for such event. Glad that it happened. Thank you for studying hard to obtain top 25% in your last year of studies at WSSS Mr Chue.

Went to Bugis this morning. Saw the shirt that we wanted to buy for her. So bought it and in the end I bought it in less than 20 minutes. So called yb who's at cc doing the LED dragon to ask if they still need me to help them buy that whatever wire. Idk what on earth that's called. He say they are already Sim Lim square then nvm lo. Took bus and went to BPP first to find the box for the shirt. Then came back home and wait till 3.20pm then I headed to CC for the edusave awards.. Waited for quite some time but at least gotten the edusave yea?

Today training, I would only regard it as the most unbearable and the most unhappy training these years. The very first training of 2012, that's all I get. Unhappiness. I don't believe it's any link to 2012 for now. Please, don't say I am thinking too much. Things are heard, things are "Seen". If the truth is that I'm assuming and thinking the ass outta me, I appologise. Honestly, that's highly impossible. It's good to be training with JJ again, the lion, not the stunts. To be honest, his weight is quite hard for me to sustain well... But I'm willing to do so, willing to try. But, the feeling of getting to play stunts with CH and becoming floor plucking the green again is seriously... thanks to people who understands and know what I mean.. I'm sure JJ felt disappointed too.. At least, we did stunts on di qing too ba...

I'm sorry, my mood today is seriously _l_ I know.. That's all for today.

Some people seems to have a good image in front of you. Behind you, they can do anything.. and yes, perhaps, purposely doing it to show it to you and let you hear them. Those words hurts and are unbearable. Especially them coming from your mouth, what am I supposed to say? It's alright, my ears are closed. You've heard of "I'll close one eye" No one will say " I'll shut one of my ears off." Unless you're deaf, if not, it's rather impossible to not hear anything around you. Trust? What's trust? Building up trust and breaking it up in the end. Perhaps like what people say, THE ONLY PERSON WHOM YOU CAN TRUST IS YOURSELF

2 days more...

Oh crap! Here it comes... There's only 2 days left to collecting the GCE 'O' level results 2011. Well, I'm not feeling as nervous as how I'm feeling before collecting the N level results last year. But, still can feel that little stress pressing on my heart when I say COLLECTING of RESULTS. Oh whatever! No matter what, I guess everyone have the same thought and feeling as me. For those collecting the results and anticipating for their friends to collect their results.

1. To be able to obtain an excellent result!


2. To be able to get into a desired school and course.

These 2 points are equally important I guess to everyone... Left with 2 days. I guess tonight will still be alright for me. Tomorrow night, sunday, I'm not sure if I can sleep at night or not... Last year before collecting the N level results, I can hardly get to sleep on the day before. Yes, it's damn crappy when you know you need to sleep but yet you still couldn't get into your sleep. x.x"

I'm feeling exciteddddddd now! I'll get to wear WS uniform later to collect the edusave! The last time I wore it is on 14th of November 2011 if I'm not wrong. Sad to say so, it's gonna be my last time wearing the secondary school uniform and the badge. Eh... but I don't wish to wear it for another year eh. So, be happy that I'm wearing it for the last time later! I won't be able to train at cc for lion dance even though I'm in the CC compound. Only can wait until 5pm+ or so then can train I supposed? But it's their tea-break time~ So, my tomorrow training time have no difference than the previous trainings. Hahaha! Changing of timing effectively happens next week onwards oh! xD

That's all for now and today ( I suppose I am not going to blog tonight already?)! Goodnight and goodbye everyone! Time to sleepppp and prepare myself to go bugis then the rest of the day at CC for later on! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Happy New Year! 2012~

Welcome 2012, Welcome everyone, Welcome, the start of the new world. I would rather believe that it's the start of the new world than the end of the year. Yesterday we had the Countdown at Bukit Panjang Community Club. After so many years, finally it's another countdown event organised by us again. :) Last time it used to be fireworks dragon, this year, it's the LED dragon.

Countdown was relatively fun but yet tiring for us I guess? Firstly, our game stall was being set up early and at least it attracted a lot of people to come and play our game stalls. Even our lion dance kids kept coming to play, well, Jovic and Jolene came many times! Haha. I would like to thanks JunJie, Chiah Hou, KaiYun and Ling Sheng for helping out for the game stall! Although CH, KY and LS did not do much, but at least still did contribute a little to help setting up the game stall. Also, thanks to members who helped out at our game stall on the actual day of the event. :) Well, game stall isn't really to manage and plan though, gotta do everything from the stretch. I'm really enjoying the process. Haha.

Our female and kids luminous lion performance also manage to surpass all challenges. Their efforts, hardwork, tears and sweat have gave them an excellent performance on 31/12/11 at 11.51pm! Even though there's a few shi shou during the performance but then it's still a good performance. Thump up for the music team and the female lion dancers!

Overall, the fun really starts only after 11.51pm. Countdown was exceptionally fun! Was super duper high and we were like dancing to the music and oh well, jumping and whatever! hahaha. The Stamford Yang Seng and every moment with them makes me feels so blessed! Thanks guys. Happy New Year to everyone! :D