Disappointment, nothing use.

Firstly, thanks Stamford for the celebration, presents and the super nice card and of course the CAKE. haha. Had a great time and day :) Thanks :D

alright, im not in mood for those stuffs so... still thanksful and happy.

Firstly,
What a failure I can be? We had been training for months, quite some time for now. still, my standard is worst than someone who oftenly train head and rarely train tail. I emphasise, im not blaming yb or ch for training together, there's nothing else beyond this line than me being disappointed with myself.
What can I say much? Training so long, so hard, not getting lots of support but instead getting suan and negative stuffs. And everything just seems so real now, my standards are bad. I can hardly do something that makes me wow like last time, I cannot succeed doing something that we used to be able to complete, im not able to make myself think positive at this very point of time.... I hope someone will understand my feeling but all people think is just jealous, or something else.
I'm no one to stop anyone from going to group together or train together because i know they make a better pair than I do. I will still work hard, I promise. But at the same time, I won't stop people from training with him. I know, I care. But I know, someone who's better can bring much more, much better results than me to the troupe as well as much glory to the troupe. What comes first? Glory or self? If me, I will say glory. Yes, I may be upset or stuffs but what has to come has to come. I really just want a peaceful mind from now...
Honestly, im really stress just now at training during lion dance. I think this is the first time I felt this way, this stressful. No matter what, train hard. If things don't go your way, give them your support. I WON'T GIVE UP.